“The P-38 WWII Nazi handgun looks comical lying on the breakfast table next to a bowl of oatmeal.”

From Matthew Quick’s Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock.

On his eighteenth birthday, high school senior Leonard Peacock plans to kill his former best friend Asher and then himself before the day is over.  Practically abandoned by his fashion career-chasing mother and criminal-on-the-run father, Leonard only finds some slight happiness in his Holocaust History class with his favorite teacher, Herr Silverman.  Before he ends his life and Asher’s life, Leonard has decided to give gifts to the only four people that have made his life just bearable enough for him to have survived this long.  Leonard first gift is for Walt, his elderly chain-smoking neighbor who inspired Leonard’s love of Humphrey Bogart movies. Next, Leonard goes to give a gift to Baback, an Iranian immigrant classmate that practices the violin every day during lunch and lets Leonard listen to the soothing music.  Leonard gives a gift to Herr Silverman at the end of the school day before he goes to give the final gift to Lauren the Christian girl that spends her time handing out religious pamphlets, which caused Leonard to fall in love with her despite being an atheist. Each gift-giving interaction goes terribly wrong, which only pushes Leonard closer and closer to his desire to carry out his murder-suicide plan.  Desperate for a reason to back out of his plan, but unable to make the necessary connection with anyone, Leonard falls into a disparaging cycle of pain as his plan comes closer to the end.

While Quick creates a highly cynical journey, he does create a heartbreaking story of an emotionally broken kid struggling to make sense of everything. The footnotes scattered throughout the story can be distracting at times, but the raw emotion of the main character hero’s the story focused. While intense and hard to read, Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock unforgettably highlights humanity’s need for connection.