“After a great deal of time examining oceans, investigating rainstorms, and staring very hard at several drinking fountains, the scientists of the world developed a theory regarding how water is distributed around our planet, which they have named ‘the water cycle.'”

From Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Grim Grotto.

“When my workday is over, and I have closed my notebook, hidden my pen, and sawed holes in my rented canoe so that it cannot be found, I often like to spend the evening in conversation with my few surviving friends.”

From Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Carnivorous Carnival.

From Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Hostile Hospital.

From Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Vile Village.

From Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Ersatz Elevator.

From Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Miserable Mill.